Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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