I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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