"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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