do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I still have a little drunk in my system
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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