every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
