He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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