I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We have started to decorate penises.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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