You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize