I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
