Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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