ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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