so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
