I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
