Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You can't motorboat a personality
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
