I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
