We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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