We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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