I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize