Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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