TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
