my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
