K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Operation Purity has been aborted
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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