I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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