No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
