I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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