THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
