There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
