Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
