Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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