So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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