so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
