I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
