loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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