im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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