that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
