Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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