Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
