the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have aggressive nipples.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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