hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
