forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think my moral compass just broke
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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