The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
