Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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