Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have post one night stand depression
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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