sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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