everyone is single if you try hard enough
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
