So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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