Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
