I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
