I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
