so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
