i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
