he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
