Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
