JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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